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Naghmeh forwarded me a funny letter today. I really don’t understand the reason for all the hoops one has to jump to renew an “official” document in our country. It’s like they sit up in a box above eating their popcorn and having a blast. I don’t know the origin of this letter, but I got a kick out of it.

The Letter

Dear Mr. Minister,

I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe
this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and
knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet the
Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For crying out loud, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have
on my social insurance card, is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed
for the past 30 years, my health insurance card, my driver’s license, on
the last eight bloody passports I’ve had, on all those stupid customs
declaration forms I’ve had to fill out before being allowed off the
planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms
that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name
is Maryanne, my father’s name is Robert and I’d be absolutely astounded
if that ever changed between now and when I die!

I apologize, Mr. Minister. I’m really pissed off this morning. Between
you an’ me, I’ve had enough! You send the application to my house, then
you ask me for my address. What is going on? You have a gang of
Neanderthals workin’ there?!

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don’t want to dig
up Yasser Araft, for crying out loud. I just want to go and park my butt
on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a
shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?! If I ever
got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you
me, I’d sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to the other end of the city
and get another copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60! Would
it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist
in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that’d be too
easy and maybe make sense.

You’d rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our
heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it’s really me on
the stupid picture - you know, the one where we’re not allowed to
smile?! Hey, you know why we can’t smile? We’re ticked off!

Signed - An Irate Canadian Citizen

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